"If only.."

Okay i've just created tumblr. but i rly got no idea how to use this shit? maybe when i know how to use it, it shall be my daily space to update my feelings. Today i'm happy, yet at the same time, the feeling sucks. noone will see through me if i continue to pretend that i'm happy. because noone rly knew or asked how i feel. You know what? the more you treat me good, the more it pains me because.... crying doesn't works anymore. i think i've got used to holding back, that i'm handling it so well now. whyyyy?